By Katharine Kaufman //
Have you ever attended a retreat? You know when you’ve been indoors for a long time and walk outside and the wind comes up gently and you look up. Although you know about wind and you’ve experienced this many times, it’s new. The moment—it gives itself.
The bustle stops. The buzz stills. The commotion, argue, the race. The day is simple with spaces around the edges of things on purpose. You get to unravel and be yourself for yourself. The Zen folks call it, “Way Seeking Mind.” The mind seeks its own way.
You arrive at the practice space frazzled or disillusioned, mildly distracted, revved up, and you go along. Nothing has been built really or progressed. Some time in the late morning, maybe after Yoga while you write a note to yourself, you notice you’re really there. Maybe you’re briefly satisfied. Jois de vivre.
Retreat is kind of underneath. Always going on. Impossible to find just by saying so.
Not much happens. You move, stop, write, eat, walk, sit, drift off, join in. Like that. Other people are beside you, doing similar things. It’s not always easy. You take a break. Pour some tea. Look at the mountains. A tear comes as you realize something, how fickle the moment is, maybe. Whatever you’ve been holding off comes brimming over the lip of your cup. Here, you have the space and support to relate to whatever it is. You glance around and others are there supporting your practice.
When retreat is over the thickness, flexibility, you found sits beside you as you return to your kitchen and see the sun glinting on the counter in a way that looks beautiful because you’re human yes, and you recognize something about light maybe. Or maybe it’s a small self-forgiveness you feel. Things sift through and you’re held by the forms, and a kind of grace. Body/mind slowly organizes itself.
You could try something now to go on a mini, ten second retreat:
Sit. Extend your spine a little. Close your eyes. Go to the bottom of your next exhale and stay there until the inhale must rise on its own (feel this).
Letting go or freedom or joy—doesn’t come all at once. That’s the beauty, the nature. This unfolds during the days after, in small migratory insights.
I wonder how you’ll describe your version of it? I encourage you to join if you can, or think about the possibility. In some future day, come along.
Retreat with Katharine:
About Katharine Kaufman
Katharine Kaufman teaches Yoga, meditation, writing workshops, and contemplative dance in Boulder County, at Drala Mountain Center in Colorado and online. She studied Yoga in Mysore, South India, and taught for many years at The Yoga Workshop and Studio Be in Boulder. Katharine is an adjunct professor at Naropa University. She holds MFAs in Performance/Choreography and Writing/Poetics. Katharine is priest ordained in the Soto Zen lineage of Kobun Chino and Vanja Palmers, Roshis.