By Blake D. Bauer
I never learned how to love myself. And then I did a lot of things in my life that I didn’t like or love about myself, and I ended up doing a lot of damage.
I would really love to help you understand how to stop hurting yourself and how to stop letting yourself get hurt.
Figuring out how to love yourself practically today and every day is the key.
From the moment we wake up in the morning we are either hurting ourselves with our habits or healing ourselves with our habits. I’ve broken down self-love into five specific key steps which are habits that we need to practice on a daily basis to be truly healthy and happy and shape the life we want.
Key 1 for Loving Yourself Every Day—Express yourself honestly and kindly
A lot of us are living in a way where we internalize much of what we feel, need and want. Because we never really learned how to understand what we’re actually feeling, what we need or what we want, we never learned how to express it in a healthy way. So one of the most important parts of loving ourselves is being true to ourselves and expressing what we’re truly feeling in every situation and relationship, instead of keeping in what we feel out of fear insecurity guilt or shame.
Many of us grew up in a home environment with role models who didn’t know how to express themselves. We experienced a lot of screaming and raising of voices so we think that that’s the way that we’re going to be heard, but that doesn’t work.
We have to become really good at expressing ourselves not only honestly, but kindly. Because we’ve been internalizing what we feel for a long time, it starts to build up and then when we express it, it comes out in a very messy and often hurtful way. We often say things we don’t mean, or in a way we don’t mean, and it actually pushes away the people we care about and love the most.
Key 2 for Loving Yourself Every Day—
Act in alignment with what you feel and need
So often we feel one way and then we do the complete opposite and we end up fragmented internally and externally spread thin. We’re basically at war inside of ourselves, which makes us sick and miserable.
Key 3 for Loving Yourself Every Day—
Make sure that you take time and space for yourself
We all need time on a daily and regular basis to just do whatever we feel we need is good for us. This could be meditation, reading, walking, or listening to music. We all need space in our day and our week to be with our feelings, be with our thoughts, and to move at our natural rhythm so we can rest and really hear our body and our soul’s deeper messages.
Key 4 for Loving Yourself Every Day—
Take care of your mind
The thoughts that you experience on a daily basis and the voices in your head are often not very loving. If you experience a lot of negative thoughts or self-critical thoughts it’s going to be really hard to feel like you’re loving yourself deeply in your life.
There are a few really simple practical ways to take care of your mind on a daily basis. The first one is meditation and the truth is that all you need is 10 minutes of a simple deep breathing meditation for this to work. Another really important part of taking care of your mind is understanding that you can actually choose and guide your thoughts in a direction that is much healthier for you. The way that we do that is by intentionally thinking about a few things we’re grateful for, then thinking about the things we really want in our life, and then saying some prayers or some blessings for the people we love and care about most.
Our mind is so powerful that it can either destroy us or it can help us create a masterpiece in our life.
Key 5 for Loving Yourself Every Day—
Value your time and your energy
We have no idea how much time we have on this planet and a lot of us spend so much time and energy with people we don’t enjoy being around, in a job that we don’t love, or in a place we don’t want to be, and we end up wasting our life. Make sure that you’re valuing where you spend your time, and where you give your energy. Ask yourself if the people you spend your time with and the company you work for really value you and appreciate you. If they don’t, make a shift to focus your time, your attention and your energy on people who really value you and treat you well.
Am I being too selfish?
One of the biggest blocks that people struggle with as they are trying to practice these keys to self-love on a daily basis is they start to ask themselves “am I being too selfish?” What we’re talking about here is a healthy form of selfishness where you take good care of yourself so
you have so much to give to the people around you.
We all know what it’s like when we don’t take good care of ourselves. We spread ourselves too thin, we get resentful, and that’s all because we’re not doing these five keys… we’re not implementing this level of self-care on a regular basis.
A lot of us tell ourselves this story that I will love myself if and when…
the kids are older,
I have enough money,
I lose weight…
What this reflects for most of us is a very sick game and habit of thinking that never ends because the truth is that we can only ever love ourselves in the present.
So if we’re not doing these five things every day we’re basically hurting ourselves and allowing ourselves to be hurt by reverting to these old habits of self-harm.
These five keys really represent you saying you matter. Your feelings, needs, calling, health and happiness ALL matter.
These five keys are not only how you love, value, and be true to yourself, they’re also exactly how you accept yourself, forgive yourself, believe in yourself, and come to trust yourself again.
Join Blake in learning more about how to practice these keys and more
About the Author: Blake D. Bauer
Blake D. Bauer is the author of the international bestselling book You Were Not Born To Suffer. He has helped thousands of people around the world who could not find lasting solutions from conventional medicine, psychiatry, or religion. Blake has an extensive background in psychology, alternative medicine, nutrition, traditional healing, mindfulness meditation, and qi gong. Based on both his personal experience overcoming deep suffering, addiction, and adversity, as well as his professional work with over 100,000 people worldwide, his teachings integrate what he’s found to be the most effective approaches to optimal mental, emotional and physical health.