*Excerpt from the international bestseller You Were Not Born To Suffer, by Blake D. Bauer
Each day we are faced with decisions in our personal and professional lives that end up shaping the course of our destiny and the quality of our health, happiness and relationships. If we want to enjoy our life, be well and respect ourselves, it is crucial we each master making choices that are aligned with who we truly are, why we’re really here and how we genuinely feel. A simple but powerful way to achieve this is to look at each moment as a fork in the road on the path to our most joyful and authentic life. In any given scenario, at least one direction will always represent a decision that does not feel good in our heart or in our body. In this same situation, at least one other direction or path will eventually reveal itself, which represents a decision that undoubtedly feels good or necessary.
Quite often it can be confusing as to which path is best or healthiest for us to choose. It’s very common to feel unclear about which decision feels good and which does not. Rationally we may be able to justify why either choice could be best. In situations like this, it is optimal to wait, or not to make any major choices until a clear knowing surfaces from deep within us. Although this seems like common sense, many of us struggle on a daily basis to know and act on what feels ideal for us. The primary reason for this is that our thoughts are often at odds with what we feel in our heart, because our mind has become very good at trying to protect our heart from emotional pain. This dynamic leads most of us to feel as though our head and our heart are pointing us in opposite directions, when in reality they are both simply guiding us home to ourselves – to our inner truth – here in the present moment. We’ve just become very good at protecting ourselves from criticism, rejection and judgement.
Because many of us have become so cut off from what we instinctively feel in our body, we now live trapped in our mind, running in mental circles over-analysing important decisions. Fear and self-doubt tend to be the driving forces, which ultimately stop us from direct intuitive action. Ironically, this mental confusion is merely a symptom that’s guiding us deeper into what we feel right now, so we can finally heal the internalized emotions that stop our heart and mind from feeling united and in agreement. Another very important point to understand is that our new direction forward, or the next step, will not become clear until we’ve fully learned the lessons we’re meant to master in the current situation. We will often stay in something that does not feel good or healthy until we learn to value ourselves sufficiently only to enter into situations and relationships that support us to feel well and free. In other words, we unconsciously stay in situations that do not feel good until we learn to express fully what we feel and need, and find clarity around what we truly want.
In my experience, a YES-WORTHY direction will always reveal itself when we’re truly ready to take the next step rather than just running from challenges. Once we have processed all of the emotions and lessons that are present in the current circumstances, the best path forward will become illuminated by positive feelings and clear thoughts that make us feel so good we cannot deny the direction life is now guiding us to explore. When the timing is right, we can then make a choice based on the truth, which is very different to speaking and acting reactively based on fear or denial of the truth.
While waiting for our next step to become well defined, besides simply asking ourselves what we’re feeling right now, the most effective thing we can focus our time and energy on is doing the small constructive things in life that make us feel good, alive and well. Whether this is taking short walks, writing, reading, taking a bath, making ourselves something warm to drink, exercising, listening to music, painting, or connecting with genuine people, by concentrating on what makes us feel good in the here and now, we can enjoy our lives in the present more – while we simultaneously distinguish where and with whom we currently do not feel good, or where and with whom we do not value ourselves completely.
What activities, small or large, make you feel good, alive, and well?
What activities make you feel happy or bring out joy inside of you?
Which people or environments do you feel great around, simply because you can be yourself, or explore yourself, or do what feels true and healthy for you?
By identifying your answers to these questions and by focusing on these activities and relationships as much as possible each day, you will begin to increase the amount of time you feel good, alive and well overall. With consistency, this process will bring significant clarity to decisions, goals, plans and interactions with others, because the more you focus your energy on simply feeling good, the more you will naturally feel and know which choices are most aligned with who you really are, why you’re really here, and the quality of life you’d like to create.
Because the purpose of human life is to enjoy it fully, while learning what it means to love unconditionally, filling our days with the small things that make us feel great is vital to creating a fulfilling life. The small daily choices that build our energy, mood and health, as opposed to those that drain our energy or bring us down, are what provide us with the fuel we need to make our larger visions, goals and desires our lived reality. Without focusing on the small things that make us feel good daily, we cannot access the energy we need to move forward and create a life that supports our happiness and life purpose. Regardless of how attractive a certain lifestyle, career, relationship or dream-reality is, we will never create it without acting in ways that make us feel better and better each day. For this reason, every single moment offers a junction on our path to enjoying life daily. YES-WORTHY opportunities always present themselves to us, especially when we’re focused on what makes us feel well. If we can learn to act when it feels good, but wait to act when it does not, even when we feel insecure, anxious or scared, our heart will always guide us towards the lasting love, joy and peace we’re seeking.
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About the Author: Blake D. Bauer
Blake D. Bauer is the author of the international bestselling book You Were Not Born To Suffer. He has helped thousands of people around the world who could not find lasting solutions from conventional medicine, psychiatry, or religion. Blake has an extensive background in psychology, alternative medicine, nutrition, traditional healing, mindfulness meditation, and qi gong. Based on both his personal experience overcoming deep suffering, addiction, and adversity, as well as his professional work with over 100,000 people worldwide, his teachings integrate what he’s found to be the most effective approaches to optimal mental, emotional and physical health.